I am on my first real vacation since January, time and space without responsibilities or stresses or decisions of any kind. A space unreachable for anything work related, a space for writing, and reading, and surfing, and relaxing only; naturally, I came to the sea.
As I usually am, I was awake this morning just after sunrise, long before the rest of the house began to stir, and like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to the waves.
And this morning’s thought that passed in the wind like a whisper to my soul was Pondering things is okay. Obsessing about them is not.
Word.
It’s a fine line, that one. And because I tend to analyze things to death and aim for perfection, especially my work, I can spend an inordinate amount of time hashing and rehashing, analyzing, criticizing, rewording or pre-scripting every past and potential future interaction until I can’t even remember where I started from. And it definitely crosses the line into obsession.
Because having time and space to consider something without interruption is a wonderful gift. But to use this time to feed the anxiety monster bubbling up in my stomach and obsess about things long over or far in a future I cannot anticipate is actually not good or helpful.
So, on this beautiful day, in this beautiful space, I will give myself permission to ponder and not obsess, trust and not fear, relax into being okay with the unknown and not being prepared for every potential encounter and embrace the gift that is being fully present in the here and now.
Let us begin 