I think I’ve found it. The holy grail of pizza. The piece de resistance, the ultimate destination. And for reasons beyond my current understanding, I feel the need to share this epiphany with anyone who might stumble across this little corner of the internet.
Hold on to your britches, folks, because this could be a journey for some of you. I only ask that you stick with me to the end.
- Relatively thin but soft pizza crust
- Garlicky tomato sauce
- Hot Italian sausage
- Pineapple
- Mushrooms
- Blue Cheese crumbles
- Mozzarella
I’m telling you, this ingredient list has it all. Sweet, salty, spicy, funky, crunchy, fresh, filling, and all-around completely satisfying as the full culinary experience. And I’ve probably already got some of you questioning my sanity or salvation, to which I say two things: don’t knock it ‘till you try it, and I absolutely celebrate your fundamental right to disagree with me while simultaneously feel pity for those who will never fully experience this exqiusite quasi-italian flavor explosion for yourselves.
Crust: I make my own from scratch. Why? Because I feel a deep connection to the food I’m making? Because I don’t trust Big Pizza and it’s ingredients? Because I love the lets-wait-and-see-if-I-killed-the-yeast-today anticipation? No. Because ready-made pizza crust is not easy to find here but water, flour, yeast, and salt are. I use this recipe and it turns out fantastic every time; sometimes, when I know the week would be crazy, I make a batch on Sunday and stick them both in the freezer. On the day you’re going to use it, let it thaw in the fridge during the day and let it rise a few minutes on the counter while you’re prepping the other ingredients. Toss a little cornmeal on the pan first for an extra crunch, and I always bake it for 3-4 minutes with no toppings before slathering on the sauce and goodies because undercooked pizza dough is a travesty.
Tomato sauce: I love a saucy pizza, and I make my sauce from scratch as well. Why? See above. I make it up every time and it’s always a little different, but usually it’s a big squirt of tomato paste from the tube, some ketchup or pasta sauce if I have it, if I don’t then a sprinkle of sugar, a few shakes of Italian seasoning, a big squirt of garlic paste or spoonful or a few cloves of minced garlic, or a few shakes of granulated garlic if I am really lazy or out of the fresh stuff, and a glug of olive oil. This time I had gotten some basil paste from home and so added a squirt of that, too. It’s always quick and tasty.
Hot Italian sausage: for my midwestern friends and family who recoil at anything remotely ‘hot’, trust me, this is not hot. It’s got a very gentle kick to it that melds together with the other flavors so eloquently and perfectly that anything less than ‘hot’ would be tasteless. If I had some kind of meatless alternative to this available to me I’d definitely give it a shot but this is all I can find here. What we’re going for in this ingredient is just a little spicy element that doesn’t overtake anything else on the plate but rather adds to it.
Pineapple: Dear reader, the words ‘ew, pineapple on pizza is so gross’ have come out of my mouth I’m sure on multiple occasions, and I confess, I had never actually tried it at that point. The whole idea was just wrong to me, and it’s such a polarizing topping, I felt the need to align myself with the ‘ew’ side for much of my early years. This is one area I’ve been called to repentance. I can’t remember the setting for the first time I tried pizza with pineapple but I remember thinking wow, this is really delicious. It’s sweet, and moist and feels fresh on my tongue. Be sure to cut it up small enough that each morsel fits easily into one bite and doesn’t fill up the whole bite. Anyone who knows me knows one of my first-choice flavor profiles is sweet/savoy and this delivers with excellence.
Mushrooms: I’m not fussy, I can really only find one kind of fresh mushroom here. It adds an umami, savory depth and an enjoyable texture to the overall experience.
Blue Cheese Crumbles: One of the greatest joys in life is a really stinky cheese. Bring it on. I love it. Crumble a bit over the top and you’ve got just a hint of that funkiness and it melds together so well with the sweet, spicy, gorgeous texture of this whole experience.
Mozzarella: Well, it’s not pizza without mozzarella right?
Okay, now that you’ve made it this far… congratulations. We absolutely don’t have to agree about this but I’m telling you, it’s amazing, and everything, and I don’t know how I could ever make this pizza any better than it currently is. Let me know if you try it!
Let us begin 